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Chani Petro
http://chanipetro.purpledream.com

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Time Itself
01/05/03

The sun sets and the moon rises
The days are as numerous as the leaves on the ground
And yet I can not remember a day going by
That I did not think of you
I wonder if what I did was right
Wonder if we should have broken up that night
I have stopped noticing the grass growing
And the leaves turning orange and red
I've stopped carrying if the sun rises
And if there comes another day
The seasons change
And still my heart aches
Longing for what it can not have
Longing for what isn't there
I wonder if the day will come
That I'll begin to notice
The leaves slowly fall to touch the bare earth
Marking the passing of summer
Winter leaves her trace
Coating everything in white
And as I sit by the crackling fire
With my big warm sweater and my cup of hot chocolate
I think of you and of the warmth that you once had provided
I think of you and sigh
Wondering if I'll ever move on
Ever feel whole,
Ever be strong
A wolf howls at the milky moon
And I sing with her
She cries for her lost love
As I cry for my lost man
Tears stream down my face
As the fire glows
I shiver under my blanket
And rub my arms trying to get warm
But I know that this cold
Is not on the outside
But on the inside
And there surely is no cure
But time itself

For What Was Not
01/07/03
When I first saw you
It wasn't what I imaged
So I ignored you
Looked past your shoulder
Brushed you aside
But as you stuck around
I got to see who you really were
And I liked what I saw
But I was afraid
Of what others thought
So I kept my thoughts hidden
Deep within my heart
But finally
I decided to show
You how I truly felt
But when I turned around
To tell you so
You where gone
Disappeared
Right out of thin air
So I looked for you
Every chance I got
My eyes searched everything
For the
One thing that I sought,
And that was you
And when I finally found you
It was too late
You were so far away
Couldn't even hear my voice
And I wept for you, for me
And for what I have lost
Wept for what could have been
And wept for what was not

A Clever Coating
01/12/03

Dreams Are A Film
That Cleverly Coats
Over The Harshness Of Reality
Like A Thin Layer Of Fog
Against The Black Night

But Some One Comes
When You Are Sleeping
And With A Sharp Knife
They Cut Away Your Dreams
Untie The Strings
That Once Securely Held Them In Place

Your Dreams Float Away
Leaving Holes In A Coating
That Kept You Safe
Safe From Reality
You Awake
And Find Nothing To Hold On To
Nothing To Keep You Safe
Nothing To Make It Right

It Took
01/31/03

It took a lifetime to find you
And a second to lose you
It took a lifetime to hide my feelings
And a second to uncover them

It took a lifetime to know you
And a second to love you
It took a lifetime to
Hold you at a distance
And a second to hold you close

It took a lifetime to learn
How much a second is worth
It took a lifetime to understand
How much a second can mean

It took a second to
Set everything in place

  Here And Now
02/05/03

Like a slowly cooling ember
On the morning after the fire
So is my heart, slowly dying
You're the earth and heaven
The reason I'd give up livin'
None of that matter anyhow
But I just can't seem to bring myself
To live in the here and now

 
Angel Of Light
02/11/03
In the pit of darkness
Where shadows surround me
I am a light a beam of hope in the gloom
I reach out, up to the sky

Yearning to be free
To feel the wind on my face
I stretch out as far as I can
Lifting my arms up

But just when I think I might
Just escape from
The depressing darkness
I feel the icy cold touch of demons' hands
Pulling me down into the depths of doom

But then I see a hand of pearly white
Reach out of the heavens to pull me
Up out of the demon's hands
That long to pull me down into
The depths of the black hole
Where their consuming hate dwells

This magnificent hand pulls me up
Into the white puffy clouds
And suddenly golden wings
Sprout from my back

My black rags are immediately
Transformed into a silky satin gown
I spread my newly grown wings
And take flight to the air

I soar up into the sky
I fly into a translucent cloud
Letting the white billows
Enclose around me

Feeling the soft sweet embrace
I glide above and below the perfect clouds
Feeling the wind rustle my hair
Fluttering my golden wings
And making my white satin dress
Billow out behind me

I fly up to the end of the sky
And now I fly beyond it
To explore the great unknown
To discover new possibilities
And exactly how far my precious
Wings can carry me

Destroyer
02/16/03

At first, I wanted you
But I could not have you
And there was nothing I could do
Because you wanted her
I was blinded
I didn't see you as you really were
And now my eyes have been opened wide
I see you as you truly are
Now nothing can hide
It has all been placed before me
In the light I see your original shape
And I hold the key
The key to destroy you
To let everyone know
Let everyone see how you grew
Into a twisted and bent, wreak of steel
You are black and cold
Thinking of no one but yourself
You make everyone else mold
You are out to hurt others
Anyone who gets in your way
Will pay, no matter who, sisters or brothers
You find pleasure in other's pain
You laugh in delight as they scream
You watch the blood on the carpet form a stain
For you there is everything to gain
And for them, everything to lose
You are a dark cloud, filled with icy cold rain
You are a destroyer

An Innocent Kiss
02/23/03

A gentle smile
An innocent kiss
Gleaming teeth
Parting lips

Throbbing neck
Passionate embrace
Anxious mouth
More than you can take

Softly screaming
Gently crying
Heavy breathing
Someone dying

Red blood flowing
Sinking teeth
Slip into unconsciousness
Were darkness creeps

A Song
03/02/03

There are many songs
But they belong to others
Their names are written upon them
With golden ink and pens
But I want a song of my very own
One with my name upon
In silver ink and pen
A song that is a secret
A song that only I know
A song that's true meaning is known only to me
A song that rings of paradise
A song that whisper of the rising moon
A song that tells of the old times
When the earth was young in spirit
And her heart glad
A song that sings of the ancient ones
Deep in canyon walls
A song that carries the tide on its back
A song that rides the wind into the night
A song that animals sing and understand
A song that reaches out into the night
To the lost ones and brings them home
A song that goes on forever and ever
A song that time does not exist for
A song that lacks nothing
A song like the sound of the rain
A song that fills your head with dreams
A song the rekindles the youth inside you
A song that is perfect
A song made for me

Like An Arrow
03/10/03
Alone in the dark
I sit and wait
With a big question mark
On my heart, a heavy weight

Why did you leave me?
Was it something I said
Did you just want to be free?
For so long my heart has bled

Like an arrow, your departure
Has pierced my heart
You left me no cure
Just a poisonous dart

You gave me no warning
No sign or reason
You took your class ring
Then everything came undone

No more picnics in the park
You've stabbed my heart
No more romantic dinners
Just your last remark

You didn't love me anymore
We were over and through
So you walked out the door
And there was nothing I could do

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